ToastPlus

I’m sure it’s kept you up nights, wondering why I chose this name, so I thought I’d write a little ditty to answer all your questions.

According to dictionary DOT com:

“Snark [snahrk] —a mysterious, imaginary animal.”

Okay, so not really what I mean by it. Kinda, but not really.

“Snarky [snahr-kee] —testy or irritable; short.”

Yeaaah, that’s the ticket.

“Toast [tohst] —sliced bread that has been browned by dry heat”
I just wanted to write the definition for toast.

But really my name comes from this word: 
“milque·toast (mĭlk’tōst’)  
n.  One who has a meek, timid, unassertive nature.

[After Caspar Milquetoast, a comic-strip character created by Harold Tucker Webster (1885-1952).]
milque’toast’y adj.”

Timid and unassertive and meek? It’s me! But here on Twitter, I get to be a little snarkier. Ta-da! SnarkToast!
It was all you imagined and more, wasn’t it?

The original Milquetoast’s small, timid character was then reincarnated in a cockroach by the same name in Berkeley Breathed’s epic comic strip “Bloom County.” Here he is, all dressed up and ready for his “Cockroach Crossdressers in Crisis” meeting.

Oh fuck, some of you people that I respect are following me. Now what?