ToastPlus

My Halloween dress arrived and it shows more cheek than a preschool photo op.

Too much estrogen in your system will make you vomit with pain.

If any of your recipes involve the words “moist,” “tender,” or “juicy,” I don’t want it.

And I liked it!

1. I’ve never cheated on my spouse and I really hope I don’t. I get a pass for pussy though (sorry, it was the alliteration, I had to), so if that opportunity comes up I might consider it.

2. I remember like half of the people I’ve slept with. You people who know them all blow my mind.

3. I fucking hate cilantro. I’m sorry if this causes you pain.

I’m excited to do this only because I can’t wait for the big reveal. I give myself 7 minutes before I come clean. Also, I bet two people answer. I never post here or give you people the time and attention you deserve. Anyway: ME!

1. I’ve cheated on my husband twice.

2. I remember the names of all the people I’ve slept with.

3. Cilantro makes me angry.

4. This is fun! I wish I could think of more slightly dysfunctional things to say about myself.